I opened my eyes to see a bright blue sky directly above me. Where was I? I touched the object I was laying on. It felt heavenly, it was so soft and fluffy. What was it? I looked around. It was a cloud. I was laying on a cloud! I peeked over the side. An amazing rainbow shined over the beautiful trees. The view from up here was amazing! As I “Oo’d” and “aww’d” over the wonderful landscape, I spotted something flying towards me. A bird? No, a fairy! Dang, she was hot, too. And naked. My kind of lady. She landed next to me, batting her eye lashes as she opened her mouth to tell me something. I leaned in and listened closely, enchanted by her beauty.
The abrupt noise pierced my ears. I was suddenly awaken from my dreams by the sound of my phone ringing. Damn phone…
Groggy and hung-over, I answered.
“Hullo? Who is this?” I asked, yawning.
“It’s Katelyn. I need to talk to you, NOW!”
“Who? Why are you calling me so early?”
“…Josh. It’s noon. ”
“What? No it’s not….” I glanced at the clock. “Oh. Maybe it is.”
The girl on the other end of the phone let out an annoyed sigh.
Meet me at the park in 1 hour. Okay? DON’T be late!”
Yeah yeah, alright….” I reluctantly agreed. “Wait! Who are you again?”
There was no answer.
It looked like she had already hung up…
I decided to meet her there anyway, it sounded important. I got up, showered, and tried a home-made hang-over cure that I found online. It didn’t work. 😦 But I ignored the blinding sun and headed to the park anyway. When I arrived, I sat on a nearby bench and cradled my head in my hands. Ugh, the throbbing just wouldn’t stop. At least I had a minute to rest…
…Or not. I winced in pain.
“Uhhhg…could you get any louder?”
“We need to talk.”
I looked up to see a very attractive blonde woman standing in front of me.
“Oh hey! I remember you!”
“Great. Want a cookie?”
She rolled her eyes at me, but didn’t respond harshly. Instead, she sat down next to me. She was looking around constantly, as if afraid someone would see her. I could tell this really was serious.
“What’s this about?”
She fidgeted for awhile. She looked uncomfortable, angry even.
“This isn’t going to work. Come with me….” She dragged me towards the bathroom doors.
“If you want a repeat of last night, I’m not really-”
“That’s not what this is about!” She snapped, drawing everyone’s attention. “Ugh!” she groaned, as she shoved me into the girls bathroom. She followed me in and locked the door behind her. The second she turned around to face me was also the that second she started yelling.
“YOU RUINED MY LIFE! I’M PREGNANT, AND IT’S YOUR BABY!”
“I really don’t think those walls are sound-pr- …wait, what?”
“You heard me! I’m fucking PREGNANT! Look, I’m going to get an abortion and YOU’RE going to pay for it! And if I suffer any discomfort because of this, YOU’RE PAYING FOR THAT TOO! And if I get fat, I swear…”
She kept talking, but I didn’t hear a word she said after “baby.” Her last sentence was still processing through my mind…a baby…my baby. I’ve always wanted to have a family of my own, but never did I want it to be so soon. I was shocked…I wasn’t ready. But the more I thought about it, the happier I was. A baby of my own… My heart started to flutter around in my chest, and I felt a small smile start to tug at my lips.
Wait, did she say abortion? I was NOT going to let that happen. Before I knew what I was saying, I blurted out..
“I’ll take the baby.”
She looked at me blankly for a moment. “What do you mean?”
“I’ll take the baby. You don’t ever have to see it again once it’s born. I’ll take care of everything. Raise it myself. You won’t have anything to do with it.”
She stared at me blankly for awhile longer.
“Just like that? It’s that easy for you?”
I didn’t answer her question. She looked down at her stomach.
“Well, I guess it is better than an abortion. I just don’t want a kid..”
“You won’t have one. I will.” I said, suddenly confident in myself. “You’ll move in with me too. Till the baby is born, I mean. I’ll pay for everything. Medical expenses, your maternity leave…everything. I’ll make you comfortable, so my baby can be born as healthy as possible.” I couldn’t stop smiling. It sounded so great out loud.
“My baby…” I said again, quietly.
She smiled at me. “Alright. Let’s go get my things.” She turned to walk out of the tiny room, but I stopped her before she could get out the door.
“The baby has to be a boy.”
“Just…because. It’s going to be my baby and I want it to be a boy.”
“Okay? What do you suggest I do to make that happen?”
I thought for a moment. “There are special treatments at the hospital that allow them to control gender. It’s a bit expensive, but I have the money.”
“Alrighty then.” She looked at me with a raised eyebrow, but continued out the door.
Half way to my car, I stopped her again.
“Hey, wait! How’d you get my number, anyway?”
“You gave it to me last night.”
“Yeah, you did.”
I narrowed my eyes at her.
“You’re not some kind of scam artist, are you?”
Katelyn just stared at me. I stared back. After about a full minute of that, I gave up. What can I say? I’m easy.
“Alright, let’s go get your stuff.”
She just shook her head before continuing on.
Welcome Katelyn Missoni to the household, everyone.